PMS IS NOT A WEAKNESS

Klages Therapy
Aug 9
5 min read

Updated: 7 days ago

Emotional Health, Balance, and the Essential Role of a Support Network

Have you ever felt that, on certain days of the month, your emotions simply don’t fit inside you? Or, if you live with a woman, have you noticed how the PMS phase seems to transform the entire dynamic of the home?

In this week's podcast episode, we dive deep into the world of Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) and, more importantly, its real effects on a woman's emotional health. Today, in this companion article, we expand this conversation with practical tips for finding balance and a special guide for partners and family members.

What Happens On the Inside? (It’s not just hormonal, it’s emotional)

PMS involves a sharp drop in hormones (estrogen and progesterone) that directly affects the production of serotonin the brain's "well-being" neurotransmitter.

When we talk about severe PMS (or even Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder - PMDD), we are not talking about a simple "bad mood." We are talking about:

Severe anxiety;
Deep sadness or a feeling of hopelessness;
Extreme irritability and a short fuse;
Mental and physical fatigue.

Important note: Validating these feelings is the first step. A woman doesn't choose to feel this way; it is a physiological response of the body that directly impacts the mind.

The Neuroscience Explanation:

For neuroscience, the emotional and cognitive symptoms of PMS (irritability, anxiety, heightened sensitivity, and fatigue) don't just come from hormones floating around in the body, but from the direct impact these fluctuations have on neurotransmitter function and neural circuits. The Drop in Allopregnanolone and Anxiety (GABA Receptors): After ovulation, progesterone peaks and then drops sharply if there's no fertilization. One of its derivatives is allopregnanolone, a substance that acts as a natural relaxant on GABA receptors (the brain's main inhibitory and calming system). When allopregnanolone levels crash, the brain loses its natural stress buffer, leading to hyper-alertness, restlessness, and irritability. The Connection with Serotonin: The sudden drop in estrogen directly interferes with the synthesis and availability This explains the vulnerability to crying, the feeling of discouragement, brain fog, and intense cravings for sweets/carbs (the brain’s attempt to synthesize tryptophan to boost serotonin).

Hyper-Reactive Amygdala and Lower Prefrontal Control: Neuroimaging studies show that in the late luteal phase, the amygdala (the center for threat detection and quick emotional responses) becomes much more sensitive, while communication with the prefrontal cortex (responsible for self-regulation, patience, and cognitive filtering) temporarily weakens. Everyday little stimuli end up being interpreted as big overloads. serotonin (responsible for mood, a sense of well-being, and appetite regulation).

My Personal Experience: Respecting the Body's Rhythm

Talking about this also means talking about my own story. I have very intense PMS and experience it firsthand. The truth is that our body changes over life: after giving birth to my children, my PMS changed drastically.

During this phase of my cycle, I even have days when I'm practically unable to work, needing to dedicate myself entirely to taking care of myself.

PMS needs to be, and should be, more respected in our society. It's a delicate moment, a sacred moment for a woman with herself. It's the time to look inward, recognize the limits of your own body, and understand that taking a break is a legitimate need.

How I Deal with My PMS: Experiencing My Feelings

When physical pain and emotional sensitivity intensify, my choice is not to fight what I am feeling, but rather to express those emotions consciously:

I live my feelings: If I feel the need or desire, I write, dance, sing, and release that energy.
Tracking and Action: When I notice that stress or anxiety might harm me, I seek support and use tools to work through and self-regulate those emotions.
Family Support Network: My children have learned to understand and respect this period. When my PMS brings intense pain or emotional sensitivity, they embrace and support me, creating an environment of empathy and respect at home.

Strategies for Balance: Self-Care

If you suffer from severe PMS, the goal isn't a "magic cure," but rather managing the symptoms so you don't suffer as much. Here are essential pillars:

Nutrition as an Ally: Reducing salt (for bloating), caffeine, and alcohol (anxiety triggers) helps immensely. Opt for foods rich in Tryptophan (dark cocoa, bananas, oats) that aid in serotonin production.
Movement is Medicine: Even when you don't feel like it, a light walk releases endorphins that combat pain and sadness.
Stress Management: Breathing techniques, meditation, or simply allowing yourself to rest more on these days isn't a luxury it is a health requirement.
Cycle Tracking: Use apps to predict when the luteal phase (post-ovulation) begins. Knowing that "sudden sadness" has an expiration date brings tremendous mental relief.

The Partner and Family Guide: How to Truly Support

Often, partners and family members want to help, but end up making things worse with phrases like "You're nervous, it must be PMS." This invalidates her pain.

For those living with someone experiencing severe PMS, the role isn't to "fix" the woman, but to create a safe environment.

What NOT to do:

Never ask if "it's that time of the month" in a mocking tone during an argument.
Don't take extreme reactions personally (remember: it is the chemical imbalance speaking louder).
Don't try to solve problems with cold logic when she is experiencing a crying spell or heightened anger.

What TO do (Practical Actions):

Non-Judgmental Comfort: Sometimes, all she needs is a hug and to hear: I see that you're not feeling well, I'm here with you.
Reduce the Mental Load: If you know she is in her critical week, proactively take on more household chores or childcare. External stress greatly worsens internal symptoms.
Extra Patience: Understand that irritability is a temporary symptom, not a personality trait. Take a deep breath and avoid escalating conflicts.
Encourage Treatment: If PMS interferes with daily life, gently encourage seeking medical and therapeutic help.

It's Not a Weakness, It's Health and Self-Respect

Severe PMS is an emotional and physical health challenge that deserves respect, investigation, and care. It is a time for women to look inward, respect their limits, and never accept the idea that their pain is just dramatic or a weakness.

If you notice that your PMS is beyond your control overly painful or destabilizing your emotions seek help. Seeking gynecological and therapeutic guidance is an act of

self-love to reclaim your physical and mental quality of life.

When a woman understands and respects herself, and her family realizes that support is part of the process, the monthly cycle stops being a battlefield and becomes a time for care, listening, and mutual growth.